I really like the way I am now. All thanks to a certain someone.

Okay, to say I was forsaken would be exaggerating but somewhere along that line.
To be honest, it broke me apart so bad but what`s new? Everyone knows how fragile I am.

But the silver lining is that, someone was there to help me get through it.
And whatever that person said really made sense to me. It gave me a new perspective on things.

I need to start getting my priorities right. I need to care only about myself and fuck the rest of the world. I need to start depending solely on myself. I need to start picking myself up when i fall, to get on my own two feet without any help. I need to start controlling the world around me and to forget the insignificant ones. I need to start doing this.

I can definitely do this. Seriously, I know I can.

It`s funny how almost everyone is scared of expectations, scared of being hurt or getting hurt because of it.

Expectation, in it`s own true form, is already a killer in disguise.

Building fear around the mind and heart, tearing one`s faith apart.

I guess in a way, I am scared.

Scared that I`ll disappoint everyone, myself included.

I do know I can make it, but, unsure about how well that is going to be.

I honestly do not know my future plans, though, I reckon I should start planning.

The expectations and hopes that my parents` put on me is just insane.

The way they lay things out just like that is making me terrified.

Hence, the thousand and one of "What ifs" came running through my mind.

The weight of the hopes and expectations from my parents are like me carrying the weight of the world.

Yes, it`s that heavy.

But I gotta do this, i can`t afford to disappoint anyone ever again, especially not my own blood.

It is damn difficult, but, I can pull through.

Like always.

But for now, I would like to disappear.

xo.