Dear Anonymous

Sunday, July 27, 2008, 7:37 AM

I read back my posts.

I retraced our steps.

I re-imagined what we used to say/do.

what a nostalgic day.

"You taught me to cry the hardest"

Saturday, July 26, 2008, 9:22 AM

I`m sorry

cos this had to happen again

Wednesday, July 23, 2008, 1:51 AM

Overdue pictures!

Hee, pictures at Newton with rides crew, Town for Operation Erfina`s Birthday and Ann Siang Hill with Helmi & Erfina. ^-^v

Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 8:17 AM

To cut or not to cut?

I promised. I won`t.

But temptations.

True that I`m not schooling anymore, hence there should be zero stress.

But sadly no.

I`d rather be in school than at home, seriously.

I know its my fault for quitting school,

but I really can`t take it anymore.

I don`t need to stay on longer just to see if its meant to be,

cos I know its not.

Even my parents know that its not for me.

But Its my mistake.

I should have told them sooner.

Things have been falling apart.

as usual.

Monday, July 14, 2008, 8:19 AM

and now, we shall live our different lives.
pretend all these didn`t happen.

Sunday, July 13, 2008, 11:54 PM

Do you know what it feels like?

No you don`t.

Cos you were never in my shoes.

I`m just so tired right now.

Friday, July 11, 2008, 2:17 AM

Have you ever wondered what would happen if someone didn`t invent the sentence,
"everything is going to be okay" ?
chances are that whenever we are facing a problem,
we`d tend to give up.
Its funny how that particular sentence would give a ray of hope to someone in distress.
Like a girl going through a first breakup, a boy failing his exams or a teen with a problem that is incomprehensible.
What happens when the inspiration we need to get through things is lost forever?
what do we do then?
do we just give up, just like that?
People would always come and go,
telling you that they`ll be there for you.
But really, how many stick to that?
Are they there just because you`ve been there for them once or twice?
Or are they really there cos they want to?
Then you`d fall back, thinking that you have such great friends.
but if there`s a next time, what if they`re not there?
Does that change the impression they made the last time?
When someone tells you that they love you,
do you really think they do?
Or is it just to make you feel better but they don`t feel it at all.
Is "Love" really a contradiction?
You may say that you love a person today,
but when things get complicated, you break up.
so where is the love?
i mean, whats your definition of love?
If you love someone, you`d want them to be happy.
Its not about wanting someone for yourself, its about seeing them happy.
Cos when they`re happy, you`d feel happy cos you did it.
I`m happy that you`re happy.

finally, I`m over you(:

Wednesday, July 9, 2008, 1:04 AM

"Its like I waited for my whole life, for this one night.

Its gonna be just me, you and the dancefloor"

-Chris Brown, Forever

The sunset was super splendid.

I wanna go there again, please? (:

HAHAHA.

I just realised that I love to snap pictures of Sunsets.

hahaha, call me crazy.

Anywayyy,

I`m like fucking broke! HAHA.

Okay, But its not cos I spent like crazy kays.

I gotta save up for school.

Cos its my mom`s idea of a lesson the hard way. GEEEE.

But I guess its a good idea too.

That way I won`t take things for granted.

I`ve been spending my time doing things at home;

chores, clean up my goddamn messy room.

And oh!

I`m learning how to play the goddamn guitar.

HAHAH, see my time at home is put to great use. :D

Anyway, I went out with Dee, Iskandar and Kak Yam.

Went to town to get *inserts the things here*

HAHAHA! explicit uh!

Walked around town, chilled at Starbucks and then, headed to peninsula to get the slippers that Dee wanted badly. heh.

Ohyeah, and I wanted to be a MRT driver when I`m all grown up.

Cool or what?! HAHAH.

"I got bike license, I got car license"

"I got MRT license kay, don`t playplay"

HAHAHHAHAH!

I swear Dee got amused and irritated. hehs.

Waited for Nad at Newton then went to eat there. Hee.

Awesome, yo!

Made us damn full lor, especially Nad! HAHAHA.

right right?

Train-ed home and taaaadaaaa!

Time spent was worthwhile.

HAHA, and I just realised most of my money always goes to food.

HAHAH, ohwells. (:

Okay.

Tmr will be another day at Town.

And Hancock! :D

HEAPS OF XOXO

Tuesday, July 8, 2008, 9:09 AM

Sometimes,
We find ourselves drowned in the absence of another that is so dear.
We tend to lose ourselves,
just so that we could be near those who failed to love us just for the way we are.
We let emotions get the better of the logic behind everything,
that way we tend to lose so fucking much.

So what do we really want?
Or rather, what do we really need?

Sunday, July 6, 2008, 7:12 AM

"You`re the voice thats here inside my head. The reason that I`m singing. I need to find you, I gotta find you"

-Joe Jonas, I gotta find you

HAHAHAH! I swear I like to irritate Helmi by singing this song.

AHAHA, got hooked yo! :D

Anywaaaaaaaaaay,

I`m effing happy now.

And I don`t wish to tell you why. heh. :p

But its effing awesome! heh

Friday, July 4, 2008, 4:43 AM

Everytime someone comes close to the heart,

I`ll try to build a wall around myself.

Its not that I`m afraid of rejection.

I`m just afraid of the hurt that comes along with it.

I don`t see the point of getting myself hurt twice.

I`m just not ready to face it.

Maybe I`m not at all ready cos I`m not over it.

"I cannot read her. I just don`t know what she wants"

Yeah, I know why I have issues with guys.

Its not because I`m jinxed or what,

its just that I`m afraid.

I`m scared to give myself away again.

I don`t even know what I want,

I know some of you probably don`t understand.

But its okay.

I don`t understand myself most of the time.

I`m just typing what I`m feeling right now, so pardon me.

I wish I knew what I want.

I wish there are directions to what I`m supposed to do.

I`m stuck in history, cos I can`t get over it.

I`m being unhappy all the time, and I don`t know why.

I`m scared all the time,

cos I don`t wish to commit the same mistakes over and over again.

I`m quarrelsome and secretive cos I don`t wish to let people know my weakness.

I`m tired and sick of hearing the same things over and over again.

I`m alot of things, but being happy is not one of them.

sadly.

, 2:24 AM

"If i were the person who can create a new medicine, i would create happy pills. then after that, i`m gonna send a bucketful of `em pills to you"

-Anonymous

Thursday, July 3, 2008, 5:40 AM

You`re the lyrics,
to the song thats written in my head.

If only you knew...

I can`t believe my mind is wrapped around that movie.
That ain`t gonna happen, for sure.
Damn, I should really snap myself to reality.
Its just a dream that ain`t gonna happen.

Sometimes, I`m sick of pretending just so I could fit in.
Okay, just so you know, there are some facts about me that I`ve been keeping to myself.
I swear that I`m a dork. As in a total dork.
I love to play around with gadgets.
I watch too much fantasy movies.
Yes! I used to collect stupid yu-gi-oh cards and play the remote control car.
HAHA, really! no kidding, umm, I supposed they call it Tamiya car issit?
Yeah, I was a total freak okay!
I even had mine modified and stuffs. AHAH.
I`ve been keeping all these to myself.
I guess during secondary school days, telling people that you used to enjoy playing Tamiya just ain`t cool. LOL.
And yeah, so this is self-confession time.
No denying that during secondary school days, I tried so hard to fit in.
Yknow, become one of those girlygirly girls.
And I know I have been lying to myself all these while.
Criticising those who are trying to fit in,
when I`m one of them people.

But what I do know now is that I love where I am right now.
In the midst of fantastic friends and family. (:
I`m one lucky girl, ya`ll.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 7:28 AM

Cos i can`t bear to watch you fall,
watching you pick up yourself without any help.
I can`t bear to watch you fade away,
watching you lose yourself in the crowd.
I can`t bear to look you in the eyes,
watching the unfamiliar gaze sets in my own soul.

Okay, this is just one of the many poems I have.

Holy shit, Kak Yam is right.

I have never written any happy ones.

As in those genuinely happy, geeeeeee.

I`ll try.

When i`m genuinely happy, I`ll write one. (: