You're gonna miss me when I'm gone;


I don't know what I'm thinking.
I'm too sensitive.
I'm too paranoid.
I'm too stubborn.
I'm too secretive.

But I'm not going to let you destroy me.
I'm not going to let you repeat my history.
Who cares about you?
Its not as if I need you at all.
So, save all the bullshit for the next person.

Love is like a losing game;


My chest still hurts.
But I really want to laugh!
Can't wait to meet them up, Friday Friday! hehs.

Till then, Let's recount on what happened before the Hyperventilation thingy.
heeehs.
Ohyes, I went to the Singapore Airshow on Friday (!!!!)
hehs, It was undeniably awesome.
I love the performance; especially with the Black Knights!
OHHHH, the F-16 Fighting Falcons looks effing cool lah.
Ahyes, My dream was achieved thanks to Kak Yam for ajak-ing me to go with her.
It was awesome lahhhh, but I'm goddamn lazy to upload photos. ^-^
Went to eat with Kak Yam and talked&talked.
Hee, Story-telling session.
Headed to Ikea with mummy & sister.
Bought the necessary things and ate at Rasa21. (-.-")
ohhh, We fixed the things by ourselves with no guy-help.
heh, I was so jakun with the drill-thingy. hahah~

Had to work on Saturday.
But I had to fetch my cousin from the airport with Haziq cos he came just to watch the Airshow on Sunday.
Ate at T2 canteen and headed home to get ready for work.
Rofl, went to work with Aliman.
hahah, I'm always super early. Like say, 45minutes? hehs.
Was posted at C1, haha frigging cramps. -.-"
Ohhh, It was funny lah.
I like going to Admission to take stock. ^-^
Oh, i watched the stupid video which i swear was freaking boring.
& I ended up sneezing cos it was cold.
Jevin bought us 1.5litre of peach tea & cokeeeee. weee~
Headed to OJ to get iceeeeee.
When I was at Flume shop to do inventory,
They gave my bag to Aliman.
I nearly wanted to cry cos my wallet was inside! ):
Headed to Changi, then suddenly got blackout!
HAHAH, damn hilarious.
& Dinner with them is, as always, loaded with peals of laughter.
Ohhh, I saw bapoks okay!
heh, Jakun uh cos never seen one before.
& reached home at 11pm! (:

I learnt my lesson and I must eat, always.
If not, some people want to nag/lecture/shout/sebat me. hehs.

Sing me a song of the stars;


I would like to thank everyone for their concern.
Now, they will always ask what I'm eating.
hee, sweet or what?
Been eating like a sick patient, boohoos.
I have to finish my med before mom would let me go out.
& I shall feast once med has finished. yaaaaaays! :D

Been watching movies online,
& conference chatting.
yeaaaaaap, fun~
Still effing bored sitting at home.
I SHALL BE A GOOD CHICKEN AND STAY COOPED AT HOME.
hee, as quoted by shammie.
LOL, cheerios!
Wanna head to bed, Na'night lovables! ♥

Cos you leave me breathless, the way you look at me;


I had the worst hyperventilation.
I was already coughing and having chest pains when i report to work just now.
& It got alot worst when I ws serving guests.
Suddenly, it hurts real bad that breathing was painful.
I went to the medic, accompanied by Kak Su.
There wasn't any ventolin so they gave me oxygen to replenish my body.
Still, it hurts.
Vincent came in, followed by Kak Su & Jevin.
They wre contemplating to either call the ambulance or send me to a clinic.
Obviously, I chose the 2nd one.
Went to the clinic with Jevin and Sri.
I love them heaps.
The doctor said I was hyperventilating for i-dunno-what reasons.
Gave me ventolin and observed.
He gave me pills to open up the air ways.
They sent me home and I slept throughout.
Until my brother came in with my bag saying my friends are downstairs.
Sri called me to look out the window;
The rides crew.
The people whom I always hang out with.
Damn, I was so touched.
I LOVE YOU GUYS DOUBLY MUCH! <3

So, hyperventilation sucks alot lah.
But I'm thankful I got great colleagues.
Especially those who came under my block!
hee, and now their motors are still there.
wooooooooo, heaps of love! (:

Still in pain,
don't make me laugh.

Let me play among the stars;


I like to work,
Its like an escape for me.
Escape from the real world.
Whenever I come to work, feeling crappy and shitty;
the workmates at ETP never fail to put a smile on my face.
Be it carnival or rides. (well, only some of the rides crew)
Seriously, they are my joy & laughter at work.
Without them, work would be boring.
Which is why I love to work and I'm always looking forward to every weekend.
But seriously,
I enjoy working because of them.
And thats the only reason why I'm still working at ETP.
& I wouldn't do it even if you're gonna throw me out.

Ohwell, Today was fun. (:
I ran some errands which caused me to be late!
Sorry sham & mel! heh.
They brought along lappies, though.
I didn't get to bring mine cos Sis was too busy play WoW.
Then, came along Farhana & Kak Yam. LOL.
Crapped & Camwhored.
Syuk & Fatin came but left at about 6pm.
Sha & Efe came soon after.
Grabbed pictures from them.
Farhana was too busy playing online games, hilarious.
Sri & Mint came tooo!
HAHAH, I MISS SRI BBY ALOT!
Slaaaaaaaacked until 930pm.
They wanted to bring me to where Aliman was washing his vespa. =.=
grrrs, homed with Sri, Sha and Efe. ^-^

TAAAAAADAAAAAAAA~
the previous post was just to vent anger.
I would do alot of things you asked me, but not when it comes to quiting my job.



♥ missyaaaaaaaaa

Cos I'm leaving on a Jet plane;


I wanna go for the Singapore Airshowwwww way bad! ):
My cousin is coming over to watch it, damn.
I wanna go, I wanna go! ):
GRRs, anyone wanna go with me? pleaaaase.
There's like the Black Knights! raaaaaaah~
Sad sad case.


I still hate you, :D
Don't try to act as if you're so cool.

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me;


After much pondering, thinking and sighing,
I've decided not to appeal.
The course is also one of my choice,
and maybe, Its another way for me to work with the television.
Maybe, MTV perharps?
Yes, I'll just suck up everything and work extra hard!
Maybe then, I can get into NTU under Art, Design & Media.
Yes, I must have a postive mindset about this.
I'll just have to work my butt off.
Ah yes, I miss school a whole lot.
As in I miss studying and all.
I can't wait for school to open!
And that certainly means; SHOES, BAG & LOTSA CLOTHES!
yaaaaaaay, SHOPPING SPREE! :D


I miss youuuuuuuu,

I know you're trying to fit in;


God, I'm feeling uptight.
Again, I ran up & down the stairs for God-knows-what reasons.
I know that I've got one of my 12 choices.
I'm unsure of whether I should appeal for another one.
Should I or Should I not?
He told me that I have to think carefully cos my future is at stake.
Mummy was happy cos I got one of my choices and told me to study hard.
Its sounds like something I'd enjoy doing.
But I don't wish to regret.
Sighhhhhhhh~
Help me please, anyone? ):

On a lighter note,
I'm glad Sri & Mel are happy with their posting. ^-^
Sri bby, I'll miss you cos yre starting school tmr!
Sat & sun are the only days that I can meet youuu, boohooo~
Mel, if you're late, you can go to school with shammie.
Just don't scream when you're on the highway! heh.

Gee, I wish you were here right now.
To tell me that things are gonna be alright.
If only talking to you without the past lingering was as easy as ABCs.
Clearly, I'm still not over you.
You're my favourite Hello & my hardest Goodbye.
I still miss you every now and then. ♥


& I neeeeeeeeed you so badly right now, ):

And it's you and me and all other people;


Ohkay, posting results are out.
I don't know if I should feel elated or thankful that I got one of my choices.
I got Motion Graphics & Broadcast Design at NYP.
Definitely didn't get Singapore Polytechnic. sigh!
Fuck, Should I feel relief or sad?
I mean, the course sounds fucking cool.
Shammie told me that not everyone will be doing the job that they are learning in Poly.
Sometimes, they'll be working at an entirely different line.
God knows how low I feel right now.
Yes, I'm feeling relief that, at least, I'm not being thrown to a course that I don't want.
Gaaaaaaaaaah~
I'm so sad right now.
Please don't make it even worst.


I need you badly now. ):

My heart crashed with the rhythm;


Yesterday was spanking fun.
Despite starting the morning with a gloomy face,
It became better~ :D
Went to work with Aliman. haha.
Ohyes, Thanks for the Starbucks drink.
My new favourite. ^-^
Work was manage-able.
I had fun, thank to the workmates again. (:
Work was hectic,
& I'm being called squidward.
(bleuk, you won't know why!)
Anyhoos, I was already thinking of what I wanna eat at Alfresco! heh, cos I didnt eat during break time.
While waiting for the rest, Me & Faizah headed outside of ETP.
James is such a evil twit~ grrs.
Stop putting words into my mouth okehhh~
Then, went off with the rides crew.
First, headed to Alfresco.
Since there wasn't enought seats,
they decided to head to Jurong.
Then, it was As-salihin & the bowling alley.
Bowled until bt 1230am.
heh, I swear I felt so malu~
Its been two years since I last bowled!
Anyway, they were a great bunch of help!
Thanks to Aliman, Syuk, Danz, Min, Nazrul & Shammie for coaching me how to bowl!
HAHAHA, I know I suck at it.
Well, I'm hoping to ask the Carnival peeps for bowling! heh.
Homed at about 1am.
grrrs, can't really blog about all of it lah kan. ^-^


Cos I only need you to be there to catch me when I fall, (:

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk;


Today was enjoyable.
heh, despite recent events, I'm very much happy to be working!
At first, i dreaded going to work with what has been going on lately.
But thanks to those bunch of people who never fail to make my day!
Lets just name some here alright;
Sri & Mel (duhhh!), Yan, Zul, Yasin, Faizah, Farhan, Adeline, Aishah(s), Nazrul.
Ohyes, I miss Ijan, Adzri & Junjieeeeeeeeee~ heh.
& to the rest also la, i got short-term memory leh. ^_^


So today, Faizah & me brought along our own food. heh.
Well actually, i brought it along for Sri.
Ateeeeeee, and did at C1.
ahah, damn funny lah.
Since there's not much pple, we were joking around listening to Sri's claim of having impeccable appearance.
Includes having Yasin's hair, Syuk's eyebrow, Adzri's eyes, Yan's lashes, Nazrul's lips, Nona's legs, Fatin's/liyana's complexion and some others. HAHAH, freaking hilarious lah.
We were all helping her choosing and stuff.
After which, Vincent sent me & Sri back home early.
Lmao, at 1330 siaaa!
We bathed at ETP and took bus 12 to Bugis.
While on the bus, Sri realised that the locker key was still with her!
So, we made our way back to Downtown to pass the key. grrr.
Took bus again to bugis and finally, reached Tongseng! ahaha.
We chomped down our food and finished it.
Headed to National Lib to borrow books. sat there at abt 6 like that.
Followed Mel to shop but she ended up not buying anything.
Bused home & nowwwwww, I'm here.
Ohya, I love the sunflower! <3


I don't know whats happening?
Its killing me somehow, cos you're the first for everything.
Are you trying to teach me a lesson?
Cos if you are, you're doing one hell of a good job.
Damn, i miss the person who texted me this;
"Hey dhai, somehow I think I'm a bad shooter. You'd probably wanna know why. Cos i miss you"
awwww, fucking shithead. =.=

Even the wrong words seemed to rhyme;


I have nothing better to do nowadays at home.
heh, might as well, just update this little blog of mine aye.
I bet there's like a few readers here, or better yet, none. ^_^
Life seems so mundane this past few days.
Nothing thrilling nor exciting.
Been heading to Starbucks lately. LOL, what's new eh?
I slept at 3am yesterday.
With music blasting from my earphones.
ahhhh, bliss.
I did alot of thinking regarding recent events.
& yes people, I've made my decision.
Sticking to it, I must.
Goodness, I'm so fickle-minded.
but yes, after much thinking, its a must.
Before its too late, laaaaaaaaate. :D
HAHAH, I sound like a total over-achiever.
I know I can do it, but majority thinks that I can't!
RAAAAAAAH~
I'll show you guys that I will!
School please start soon so I'll be too busy for this kind-of things!
I want to go to Coffee Club for lunchhhhhhhhh!~

Ohyessssssssss, I'll be working AM tomorrow!
No crowd pleaaaaaaase, ):
Heading to National Lib after work!
Gonna lunch at TongSeng. heh. ^_^

♥ I hope we don't collide.

Listen to your heart, Girl you know we should be apart;


I guess that song has me written all over it.
haha, I should really stop blogging what's personal here.
but I really can't help it!
Writing vents my anger. geeee.

Today was a drag.
It was the worst day ever!
Nevertheless, it was a good thing that I still had my friends.
Natasha & Farhan! <3 I have to agree with sis.
At first, I envied those girls who were carrying daisies, roses, sunflowers and whathaveyou!
But its really overrated to be carrying flowers on Vday!
I wanna get flowers on normal days too, y'know.
hee, but I doubt I'm going to be on the dating scene.
No more dates/flings. heh.
School start soon pleaseeeeee~
I think that Starbucks barista already knows me.
I've been going there, heh.
Minus Monday cos I was at JJ.
I miss JJ's raspberry blacktea.
Raspberry Blacktea just now wasn't as appealing as usual.
I want the usual barista who makes me drink pleaseeeeeee~
One pump of Raspberry & two pumps of classic syrup! :D

I admit that it was foolish to even hope on such things.
Cancelling everything cos yre hoping he'd go out with you.
It was really dumb to even have bought the tickets and ending up throwing it away.
It was dumb to have your resolutions broken.
I was smitten too easily.
But now, I know my mistake.
I shouldn't be. I'm not cut out fr this kind-of things.
Which is why the only solution is to avoid.
sounds pretty immature,
but I'm up for anything as long as history doesn't repeat itself.

I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound;


Imagine yourself all alone at Starbucks, surfing the net.
Raspberry Blacktea latte & Cinnamon bagel by your side.
Girls clutching roses, sunflowers, daises, chocolates and whathaveyou.
God, I think I'm so pathetic.
I'va made plans but it went wrong.
No one is at fault, it was rather all mine.
My first attempt at surprising took its own turn by surprise.
Geeee, I should've known better.
Lesson Learnt; never date.


I think its best if i were to just stick by myself.
Living a day like this certainly sucks.
I'm making myself more dependant and hopeless.
Geee, sucky much?
I don't want to look pathetic, I'm way above it.
The plan backfires and I'm suffering the consequences.

This heart it beats, beats for only you;


Raaaaaaaaah~
Happy Happy Vday people!
Its not that I celebrate it. but hey, spread the love! :D
Actually, its just another normal day!
But maybe more lovey-dovey.
HAHAH, i wanna catch couples hanky-panky laaaaaaa~
Okeh, so weird but still, funniest sight! heh.
I remember running around school last year, wishing people Happy Vday.
Shar gave me a super cute cup with chocolates & candies.
Rauf gave me four ferrero & a red ribbon to show that we're bestfriend.
heee, damn fun la~
Received tons of chocolates & candies, ^-^

Anywayy, I've got Two tickets to Jumper.
but I'm not sure if he's free.
okeh, cos he doesn't know tht i bought the tickets.
Meant to be a surprise, you see.
But i suck at surprising luhhhhh~
Dateless agaaaaain!
Sha laaaa, cheat my feelings. =.=

Okeh so folks,
I have an extra ticket to Jumper.
First come, first served okay? heh.


PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NARYZAN & ANATI! <3
PPS. I freaking can't wait for March!

Of all the many stars;

Actually, I have no idea why I'm sad.
Its not like he knows of it.
Like I said, I suck at surprising & obviously, things don't usually go our way.
But sigh, I also don't know lah.
Maybe I'll be giving it away.
Any takers? Its for free.
I'm too depressed to even sell it at a price.
):

PS. I hate this feeling

Its not like I haven't tried over and over again;


I remembered everything you said,
even until now.
I think I'm so pathetic.
Even someone whom I just got to know, realises that I'm still not over my previous relationship or should i call that a fling.
With you, everything seemed so surreal.
Now, I realised it was all a facade.
and I was so stupid to swallow everything whole.
But I learnt from my mistake.
and this proved to make me a whole lot stronger.
Which is why I'm very secretive.
By being secretive, people wouldn't know my weakest point.
But now, I'm drenched in your absence.


I think I'm dumb.
I should really get that Self-Improvement book.
Or otherwise, I should just stop and stick to my resolutions.
To think, I nearly wanted to just scrap it.
HAHAH, screwwwww it.
Whatever, I don't want to assume so I'll let nature takes its course.
Until then, I'll just be happy & esoteric okehhh~ ^-^

Save me from me;


I hate myself for being unhappy.
Unhappy with what, you might ask?
I have no idea too.
Slf-acceptance.


I wanna go to the Zoo and Night Safari with them.
I'm so enthusiastic about it. heh.
I even borrowed Sha' baby just to snap million-dollars photos. teehee.
Thanks GirlF, ^-^
I can't wait for tomorrow.
Hopefully things won't go wrong. yay.
I should have gone to MJC, tskkk.
Got duper cute JC guys there. heh.
okeh bye.
Hopefully at the zoo & Night Safari got doubly hot foreigners. :D

Kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real;


I'm good, I'm happy, I'm fine.
Okay, honestly I'm not.
I don't know what has been going on.
I don't know how to even approach it.
This is driving me nuts.
ThankGod, not everyone knows this blog link.
This is only for those whom I can trust enough.
Yes, I'm goddamn secretive.
And I wasn't trying to pick a fight.
I honestly am so screwed and lost.


Someone said, "It hurts me to see you cry, see you feeling lost"
But it certainly didn't bother him when I was hurt.
Intricate emotions with ever-so complicating situations.


But honestly, Can you keep a secret?

Get me through this nightmare;


Everything is just honestly so screwed up.
I can't recall what's been happening this past few days.
It feels like as though its been a few months since New Year.


Yes, Mister Random.
I do like you but not to the extend of having a relationship.
I'm not ready for that.
Especially not after what happened with jtjf.
I don't understand whts happening between us.
Like one minute, we're fine and the next, we're not.
I guess I could never understand this silly world of relationships.


I'm so screwed.
Let's find a concotion to invent happy pills.

Feeling good don't cost a thing;


I must be happy,
like the Hotfudge Sundae.
ohwait, no. Like Chocolate Euphoria.
I wanna be the happiest kid on Earth.
The most carefree one.
Feeling sad/agitated is very tiring okeh.
Especially when at work,
Must be happpppppy.
Instill Happy thoughts, I must.


But sadly,
The formula for the Happy Pills is missing. ):

Keh helloh;
not alot of people will know my link. ^-^


okay bye.