Dear Anonymous

Tuesday, September 30, 2008, 8:55 AM

Its already the end of the fasting month. sigh.

I`m looking forward to tomorrow, a start of a new month.

Anyway, Happy Eid Mubarak!

This is the ideal time for me to seek forgiveness for all my wrongdoings.

I know I may get on people`s nerves, I`m a truly sorry.

Also, Halalkan all my food and drinks okay?

Hee, basically if you spent money on me, please halalkan.

And to *you know who you are*,

You`ve been an awesome friend, I swear.

I hope you`ll forgive me for everything that I`ve done.

I know I put you through a whole lot of shit and pissed you off way too many times.

I am very sorry.

I hope you`ll continue being my way awesome good friend,

cos you rock my world that way.

Yay! Tomorrow I shall pig out, take awesome shots with my baby, receive money and spend time with my dear cousins! hee.

Happy Celebrating okay, loves? :D

Monday, September 29, 2008, 9:02 AM

Geylang with my cousin, Nana.

Also, With Kak Maya and Abg Boy. I swear they are hilarious. Oh, plus my sister.

Singapore Flyer with Syukri and Elyssa.

No, we didn`t take the ride. We just wanted to have Popeye`s there.

Elyssa! Hahah, she`ll kill me for even posting this! heee.

We had to persuade her to take this shot cause she isn`t a fan of photo-taking.

My two companions for just now.

Marina Bay

Syukri!

Candid

This week have been rather emotionally sad.

Hopefully October would bring good memories,

afterall, it is my birthday month.

I`ll pray doubly hard.

Pictures times baby! (:

Geylang with Kakak, Nana, Kak Maya and Abg boy.

It was bloody hot and there was too many people.

The food tempted me way too much.

But the atmosphere was nice.

Was at geylang from 9 pm till about 2 am.

And I had to work at 830 am the next day!

Work was alright on sunday.

Just that I was posted to C2 with Haykal and Rachel.

Was goddamn boring that I began texting people and listened to music.

Most of them broke their fast. LOL.

It was that time of the month for me, so I just helped myself to drinks and Raya cookies. Hee.

Headed home with Dee!

I missed her a lot, ):

So anyway today was breaking fast day with Syuk and Elyssa.

Which was W-E-I-R-D!

But seeing how it was popeye`s and how they "begged" me,

I relented.

It was a nice time out.

We talked about lotsa stuff!

Work, School and Guys. hahaha.

Well, the guys part was mainly for me.

Potential boyfriends. heeeee.

The view of the flyer at night was nice.

Went over to esplanade and talked some more.

Then, took the train home.

Lol. (:

I`m loving my baby even more!

Sunday, September 28, 2008, 3:17 AM

Another emotional wreck

How about having a bestfriend that doesn`t want to talk to you?

How about having a bestfriend who doesn`t regard you as one?

How about having a bestfriend who isn`t there for you eventhough he said he would always be?

How about having a bestfriend who doesn`t really care even when you`re in desperate need of help?

Just because the girlfriend doesn`t like.

Just because he`s too busy.

Just because Hari Raya is nearing.

Just because O`levels is approaching.

I`m not being spoilt or unreasonable.

Hari Raya and O`levels are approaching.

But it doesn`t take you two minutes to spare me a message.

It doesn`t kill you to call me just to ask if I`m alright.

It doesn`t hurt you to tell me to be strong, even if you can`t do much.

I miss you, do you know that?

You said that you`re always going to be there but guess what?

You`re not.

I need a bestfriend, especially right now.

There are a million and one things I wanna tell you.

And I wanna hear you say "Ah Dhai, Just fuck em. You run your life, not them"

I want to hear you make jokes about the situation.

Did you know I was waiting for your reply the whole night?

All you could give me was that your mom wanted you to clean up the house.

Okay, that I get it.

But couldn`t you just text me the next day?

It hurt because I needed your support and assurance the most.

Yet you simply ignored me.

Fuck, I may sound childish.

But try losing a bestfriend, or rather having a bestfriend who doesn`t care.

You`ll see what I mean.

Saturday, September 27, 2008, 12:18 AM

YAY! I GOT MY CANON A590IS YESTERDAY! HEEEEEEE!

*DANCES HAPPILY

And thats a picture of my two babies!

My canon A59OIS and Macbook. heeeee :D

F1 night race started yesterday.

Brother went to the yesterday`s one!

Yay, at least I still get to keep the ticket and lanyard! :D

I turned mine away,

cos I bet there would be half of the entire singapore population there!

Heee, plus mom would kill me if I leave her to do the cookies since it was my idea.

Lol, Besides I`d be going for one Lewis Hamilton! heeeee, *melts

AND RAYA IS IN 4 DAYS!

heeeee, my house smells of cookies, chocolates, strawberry, durian, jackfruit, rempah and prune!

Rofl, :D

Lovelove.

Thursday, September 25, 2008, 4:35 AM

Do you ever think,

When you`re all alone.

All that we can be

Where this thing can go?

Am I crazy or falling in love

Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath,

When I look at you?

Are you holding back,

Like the way I do?

Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away,

But I know this crush ain't goin' away.

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think,

About is you

You got me hypnotized

So mesmerized.

-David Archuleta

, 2:06 AM

The cold shower I just had woke me back to reality.

I`m still trying to come into grips with everything that has been going on this month.

I know all this a test from God,

What I really want to know is how well did I do?

I`m a disappointment, time and again.

From my impulsive ways right down to my stubbornness which would drive any normal soul to the madhouse.

I`ve disappointed my parents by quitting school only after one month of it.

Even though they didn`t tell me first-hand that they are disappointed, I know they are.

Common sense.

To make things even worst,

I haven`t even start looking for a school or course.

I haven`t start being serious about my future.

Every single time my parents discussed with me about my future plans,

all I said was "Look, I don`t really know what I wanna do now. So, stop asking."

I admit that was pretty rude,

considering that they have been pretty cool about the whole dropping-out-from-school thing.

I should start being more mature, I know.

I`ve been acting as if the world owes me a living.

I`ve been very spoilt, I know.

But I really wish I knew what I wanted to do.

I don`t want to disappoint anyone ever again.

I wish I could have the power to be less distracted and think maturely for once.

I wish I didn`t have to disappoint anyone.

Sigh, I hope I`ll get answers by the end of this Holy month.

And I don`t really need this.

I know wishing gets me nowhere,

but I really wish that ...........

I want that for my birthday please.

So that all the confusions, misunderstandings and arguments would just go away.

I don`t think any of us would want this.

I don`t think I want to experience anymore of it.

I don`t think I`d want you to experience another argument with me.

Cause we both know it doesn`t do us any good and its not fair for you.

Especially right now.

I know its exhausting reading a emotionally fucked-up post like this.

Trust me, its even more exhausting typing one when your mind is all jumbled up.

xoxo

Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 10:32 AM

NO, ITS NOT GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN AGAIN.

NO, I`M NOT GONNA LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF.

, 8:26 AM

I don`t know what to do.

Part of me wants to do the right thing,

yet another part is ...... nah.

I know this ain`t right.

I know this ain`t good karma.

But I can`t help myself.

I feel like I`m already losing you.

Maybe I already have.

Nothing I say/do makes any sense now.

Might as well I end things here.

Works well for my soul and mind.

Kali ini saja dan ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya ;

Tuesday, September 23, 2008, 2:24 AM

WISHLIST BABY! :D

Haha, I`m not asking ya`ll to get it.

Its just those things that I`ve been wanting. hees.

The dress from Pull & Bear that I just saw! hehs, :D

($74.90)

Nike Vandal Premium Women shoe

Price not yet available.

Levi`s Lady white leather watch

Kay, Price N.A also.

Lifetime supply of chocolates! :D

Heeeeeeeeee.

Tiffany and Co Heart Charm Bracelet

THE SUPER HOT SUPER COOL NECKLACE WITH THE FRIGGING NICE AEROPLANE PENDANT (!!!!!!!!)

Also from Tiffany and Co.

Canon Powershot A590IS! :D

Yay, probably Daddy gonna get it for me on my birthday. *grins widely
($369)

This is probably gonna last me a lifetime.

To experience another sunset from the skies. Probably Hot-air balloon or another aeroplane ride. *wishes extremely hard

Okay, so these are my wishes.

For the Tiffany and Co. necklace & Bracelet and to watch the sunset from the skies is something I want and I don`t care when I do, just as long as I can get it in this lifetime. (:

Hahah, and I`ll probably love you doubly hard if you could grant me any of those above. Heee.

Just kidding! (:

Sunday, September 21, 2008, 7:43 AM

I find a place where we escape

Take you with me for the space

The city buzz sounds just like a fridge

I walk the streets through seven bars

I have to find just where you are

The faces seem to blur

They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending

Truth is I am done pretending

-Love remains the same, Gavin Rossdale

I don`t know why,

But at times I wish you were here.

Its getting kind of hard to continue pretending that it doesn`t hurt as much.

At times, I wish I didn`t have to do so.

If I could take back what I said,

Cos truth is, its hurting me once more.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 9:52 AM

SUPERDUPER BEYOND AWESOME OUTING

I had a super awesome time with fellow escapians!

It was really damn awesome that problems would just go poof with them people around! :D

First up, went to meet up with Haliejah & Elyssa.

Proceeded to Sri`s place to wait for Melati.

Went to meet Nad cause she was driving us.

Waited for Aliman to arrive and off we went.

AND OH, NAD HIT A BICYCLE WHILE REVERSING! :D

hehs, it was damn hilarious.

Walked around while waiting or the rest to come.

Damn a lot of people, like 30 over?

Hahaha, mainly rides.

From carnival was only Haliejah, Sri, Melati, Elyssa and Naz!

Sat down and had loads of fun snapping away!

Was as if we owned the entire place.

Extremely kecoh, but I like it that way!

Super Hyped with Nona & Fana when taking the food. hehs.

And my reaction was always slow just now! :\

Snapped way too many photographs and Syukri baked brownies for all of us! Nice!

The atmosphere was extremely lively and noisy. :D

Walked around Geylang.

Threw bombs all over people. hahaha, damn hilarious.

ALIMAN! I still hate you for putting it on my bag! GRRS.

I just didn`t like it when we sat down with nowhere to go cause was a waste of time.

Syukri! Thanks for carrying my heavy bag!

Nad! Thanks for driving us to and from!

Overall, It was a super awesome outing and I had one of the best time ever.

Especially when we were in the car on our way home. heh!

10 people in a 7-seater car! LOLS.

Didn`t regret going one bit.

*Loves!

I`m falling even more in love with you,

Letting go of all I held onto.

I`m standing here until you make me move,

I`m hanging by a moment here with you.

I`m living for the only thing I know,

I`m running and not quite sure where to go.

And I don`t know what I`m diving into,

Just hanging by a moment here with you.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008, 10:49 PM

I`m exhausted.
On top of everything else, I have yet to find a suitable course.
sigh.

Monday, September 15, 2008, 7:54 AM

I MISS THIS GIRL OVER HERE.

CAUSE RIGHT, I`M ALWAYS SO RETARDED TO LET THINGS GET INTO MY WAY WHEN I`M SUPPOSED TO MEET HER.

I`M SUPPOSED TO MEET HER TMR BUT I`M SICK.

HOW HOW HOW?!

):):):):):):

DAMN SIAN PLUS SAD, OKAY.

There`s like gazillion and one things I wanna tell her. lols.

Okay, so I`m very very very sorry if I can`t meet you tomorrow.

I feel so retarded, can.

But! I get to meet you on wednesday!

Yay, *throws confetti all over*

hehs!

SO SORRRRRRRRRY GIRLFRIEND! :D

Sunday, September 14, 2008, 11:36 PM

To do or not to do?

Reality check; still unaccomplished!

Apparently, Fate has never ever been kind to me.

Just last week, Fate threw me this ridiculously horrid problem that could probably be the cause of my death if I make the wrong choice.

Hahaha, Hows that for exaggeration?

But true enough, I could never make wise decisions.

And so, I have no idea how to overcome the problem that is seriously up to my last nerve.

Different people gave me differing opinions.

Some gave me a totally off-the-situation advice. Lol.

Ahhh, I should probably heed Haliejah`s advice which is the ultimate best and has the most calming effect on me.

Go for terawih and seek God`s help.

This is seriously tiring me out.

Anyway, Work has been okay.

Not the usually hyped moments, just okay.

I reckon I should probably get back to my school-searching.

And some soul-searching since I`m all up for searching.

-.-

Till next time, loves. (:

PS/ DEE/YAMMY`S PA! I HOPE YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB GOES WELL! <3

Friday, September 12, 2008, 8:15 AM

As usual, I had a super hot and awesome time with Happy Pills.

They never fail to brighten my day.

Even though, all of us were starving, the jokes were still as funny.

HAHAHA!

I swear Jarnah`s reaction is always so funny.

And especially with Dut, Shahrul and Fawwaz around.

How can I not love em?

Okay, so we met up at 5plus at Small Mac cos the plan was to break fast at Simpang.

So, Shahrul, Ath, Waz, Az, Jarnah, Dut, Wan and Aidil was already there.

Only had to wait for Bany.

Took the bus and sat there. apparently, there weren`t much people.

HAHAH, Ath ah confident cakap banyak orang. LOL.

Then, we entertained ourselves with jokes and PSPs.

Then diy came, followed by Natty and Sham!

I swear its been ages since we last saw Sham!

Fikri and Faezah were supposed to come but couldn`t make it.

Shared our food among everyone.

The total was $125. haha.

A lot of inside jokes which was damn hilarious. hehs.

Decided to chill behind TM after much debating.

Played this game.

"Om chichi Om chi, Tongkak Tongkak and Tuki tuki"

HAHAHAH, FUCKIN HILARIOUS AND SO TIRING!

But damn funny cause all of us made mistakes and were so blurrrr.

Then we played something with dunno-what Chucky.

Which was easier but confusing.

HAHAHAH, the games we played just now were much better than going to Geylang!

HEH, I had fun.

And they made me laugh like crazy.

It has seriously been ages since I laughed like that!

I love you guys heaps! <3

Next up is Sisha outing okay!

And Eid with Happy Pills!

Yay, so can`t wait! :D

Thursday, September 11, 2008, 11:15 PM

Do you hear me,I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

- Jason Mraz Ft Colbie Caillat, Lucky

I`m just trying to vent anger here.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 12:19 AM

90210 is definitely a must watch!

Hahaha, I fell in love with Ty.

He`s goddamn gorgeous man.

^-^

hee! (:

Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 5:05 AM

At times, I can`t help but say that I miss you.

And I wish I could rewind everything back.

The only birthday wish is to take back everything that has been done.

God, Grant me that please.

, 5:05 AM

OKAAAAY.

Today is really a mundane day.

I guess that`s what I get for quitting school. LOL!

And so, I decided to busy myself with chores.

For instance, I cleaned up my ever-so messy room! :D

And the bags area too.

I just threw most of the bags into the store. hehs.

Plus, I cleared the lappy area so that there`s enough space to put both my Macbook as well as my sister`s lappy. :D

I still have to figure out where to hide the wires linking to the router and plug. LOL!

Oh, and I cooked Lasagna for the break-fast meal.

Hahaha, since it was my first attempt, it was dry.

My mommy and Kakak said with more sauce it`d be nicer. hehs.

Plus, Kakak brought back Caramel Frapp and Raspberry with Java Chip Frapp! (:

HAHAHA, I fat already liao. zzzzt!

So, thats the end of my totally uneventful day.

AND I MISS THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE! ;

-JARNAH

-RAUF

-FELINA

-SYAZA

-FIKRI(!!)

-ATH, WAZ, DUT, IZWAN AND THE REST OF THE CLIQUE.

-KHAI, JOVIN & AMOS

-DAPHNE, RANDY AND THE REST OF MY NYP FRIENDS.

-AISHAH

-FATIN

-FANA

-HALIEJAH

-ADZRI, YASIN, ZUL, IJAN, AISHA(S), JUNJIE, FAIZAH, LIYANA, FARHAN, ADELINE, SUFIAN, NAZ, KAK SU, KAK SIKIN AND ELAINE.

-******

I miss them ):

Monday, September 8, 2008, 8:25 AM

OPERATION SRI`S BELATED BIRTHDAY!

It was rocking man! :D

Even though, It was a last minute thing!

Anyway, this people made my day;

Mel, Yam, Nad, Shammie, Syuk, Mint and not forgetting, Sri!

It was a last minute thing and I irritated alot of people!

HAAHAH, my first time surprising leh!

SORRY AH! :D

But it was worthwhile!

Was from City Hall then train-ed down to Tampines!

Syuk texted me saying he was at 229.

went to TM, got the cake with nad also.

Off to meet shammie and mel under Sri`s blk!

Got ready everything just in time,

but we forgot the balloons!

So, me and syuk headed to afghan area to find balloons!

Bought the stuffs including pizza and air Katira!

wooooo~

It was so funny and so kecoh!

And I was the prime target for bullying!

Very very nice atmosphere!

Sri Dear was surprised! yay!

It was damn nice lah!

And we ended up watching Cinta Fitri & Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih

Mint was being like Danz!

Non-stop commenting, LOL!

But It was fun!

Shan`t elaborate more cos you had to be there to understand!

Lastly, I LOVEEEEEEEE EM! (:

Sunday, September 7, 2008, 8:51 AM

Everything has a hidden agenda, even Fate.
One moment you`ll experience happiness beyond your wildest imagination,
and next you`ll be experiencing loud sobs escaping your mouth.
Then you sit down and realise, "When would this ever stop?"
You`ll have thoughts of reproach going through your mind,
"Everything thats happening is your own fault!"
Even when you know that this isn`t your fault,
you can`t help but take the blame.
Because if no one is to be blamed,
it`d just be plain unfair.
Everything around you is crumbling down,
you realised that its the end of everything.
Its either you take it into your stride,
or you`ll have nothing, nothing at all.
Once in a while, you`ll think "Why does life have to be like this?"
But you`ll never get the answer,
cos you`ll always be too busy answering questions from others than to answer your own doubts.
You`ll always be too busy, wondering about the life you`ve always imagined,
than to actually carry out that imagination.
Then again, since when have we humans to be known for having confidence in ourselves,
without that shadow of a doubt.
No matter how small it is,
the doubt will always overpower us. always.
I guess thats why bribery, assassination, jealousy, terrorism and other awful human doings exists.
Pandora should have never opened that box.

, 8:51 AM

ETP`s central pavillion has been playing this song for one whole effing week.

Its been ages since I last listened to it.

I feel like I lost everything when you`re gone,

Left remebering what it's like,

To have you here with me.

I thought you should know,

You're not making this easy.

I never thought I'd be the one to say,

Please dont.

well please dont leave me.

Aww, bloody memories.

Yes people, its Promise by Matchbook Romance.

Things are just way fucking wrong.

I can`t believe everything is just going bloody wrong.

I feel like I`m a fucking idiot, fucking loser.

I think I`m one fucking failure.

I can`t even handle simple tasks.

What a fucking idiot.

And you fucking wouldn`t want me as a friend,

or I`ll fucking fuck up your life.

I don`t think your life deserved to be as fucked up than it already is.

Why can`t everything just be fucking normal?

And no people, I`m not fucking exaggerating.

And I`m not thinking too fucking much either.

Its like fucking inevitable.

Come on, just give me a fucking break.

Just this fucking once.

And I`m fucking lucky cause its like in the middle of the bloody night,

otherwise, my fasting would not be counted.

Thursday, September 4, 2008, 11:28 AM

Its getting harder to believe in anything or anyone.

I opened up at the wrong time.

I wish I could hit rewind.