Dear Anonymous

Thursday, October 30, 2008, 6:20 AM

Overdue pictures!

My bad for taking so long to upload. Hee :D

Anyway, today was spent with Natty and Wy at Starbucks JJ :D

Heee, That`s my favourite Starbucks hangout cause its peaceful and not alot of people know where it is.

You won`t get any typical malays or teens like the ones you see at Starbucks Tm.

Plus, there are super hot guys there!

And I`ll get discounts!

As usual, photobooth-ed like mad.

Heee :D

Retarded moments.

Powerpuff cacat and Girl genius. HAHAHAH!

Our favourite Starbucks where we used to spend mugging for O`s and when we`re sad. LOLS!

Natty!

Upper east side. HAHAH!

Irfan`s birthday which was on Deepavali.

I was sick and had to entertain kids. Lols.

My new niece, Nur Quraisha.

My cina cousin

The smaller one is cute cause he sang for his brother a chinese birthday song.

The nice birthday cake!

Effing cute, right?! Heeee!

Okie dokie, I had fun.

Especially at starbucks. <3

Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 7:22 AM

Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?

— Eleven minutes, Paulo Coelho

Cause we are nowhere near perfect.

Evolution of a human being does not include being a superwoman/superman.

It does not include being impeccable.

We are always taught that mistakes makes us stronger.

We are taught never to have any regrets and that every mistake is only a stepping stone towards something big that we would achieve.

They have been emphasising that we are to learn from our mistakes.

Yet, we are always chastise for the mistakes we make.

Isn`t it a downright contradiction?

"We fall down seven times and get up eight" -Paulo Coelho

Monday, October 27, 2008, 8:00 AM

Hello Folks.

Here I am again, fingers dancing furiously on the bloody keyboard.

As always, I am going to rant out every bad emotions I have in my body.

So, let me warn you that the post you are going to read is going to have a hell load of vulgarities.

I`m going to be oblivious to the fact that I`m not the only one with problems while I`m typing this post.

And also, I`m going to be downright rude and crude.

Don`t be a prat and say I didn`t warn you.

Cheers!

Yes people.

Once again, I am such a fucking loser for not being able to find a bloody school.

Someone said that it has already been nearly 6 months and yet, I`m still school-less.

I got to admit that maybe I have not searched hard enough.

Truth be told, I am fucking sick of people constantly saying that I don`t want to continue schooling.

Well, that includes my ever-so-supportive mom and relatives.

Why don`t you guys go fucking piss on each other`s faces while waiting for me to find a fucking school?

Its not as easy as it fucking looks.

Its not like I`m going to just pick any bloody course just to entertain your fucking mind and play into your psychological games.

Its my fucking life, I`ll take all the time I want.

I know that I can`t possibly take my own sweet time,

but you guys are trying to rush me into getting into a school.

Your fucking games are useless against me.

Who fucking cares if you`re my relatives,

its my bloody life and I have the right to choose.

I want to make the bloody right one.

And once my mind is all made up,

I`ll stick to it, even if it pisses you off.

I don`t fucking live to impress anyone.

(read: anyone)

It came to me then.

That I`m such a idiot.

I`ve trapped myself in this situation again.

But now, I`m going to numb myself.

I`ll continue another time,

I tire myself out already.

Friday, October 24, 2008, 1:12 AM

I need to spend an afternoon at Starbucks JJ. ):

Natty! Let`s go there soon!

Thursday, October 23, 2008, 6:26 AM

Ever fallen in love with someone

Ever fallen in love, in love with someone

Ever fallen in, in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with

-Ever fallen in love, The Stiff Dylans

Its just a random song

from a random feeling.

I took a long bus ride yesterday.

And it made me think;

How long more should I continue?

You don`t seem to care enough.

I`m done wasting my time trying to impress and fuss over you.

You don`t seem to bother at all.

Maybe I should just put things to rest.

It doesn`t help one bit that you`re always entangled in my thoughts.

I guess bottling up is a way better idea.

I don`t feel stupider that way.

Dhaify xx

Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 8:45 PM

I want to watch twilight! :D

Anyone wanna accompany me? heee.

, 6:49 AM

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

-The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

I`m at Starbucks near Wheelock right now.

Its not as peaceful as the one situated at Jalan Jamal.

But somehow, it inspires me to write again.

Call me crazy, but that is how inspiration works.

We can only do things when we`re truly inspired.

Otherwise, whatever that is written is equivalent to crap.

Today was definitely more enjoyable than yesterday.

I`ve decided already.

You don`t have to pretend.

I can see through your acts.

If I have to use every freaking fibre in my body just to forget you, I will.

Cause we know we could never be.

And I`m tired of waiting for you to come around.

Dhaify xx

Monday, October 20, 2008, 8:29 AM

I feel unusually moodless today.

I ate more than usual, which is weird.

Apparently, I finished everything that I ate.

That is incredibly weird cause I`m known for not being able to finish up my food.

Somehow, I felt unhappy today.

I don`t know why, just unhappy and bitter.

I didn`t scream at anyone,

I just didn`t have the mood to entertain jokes, teases or any other form of communication.

I only talked when necessary.

Except when it was with Nad, Kak yam and those who knows me well enough.

I feel crappy deep inside.

I`m still that loser who is school-less.

I`m still that idiot who doesn`t even know her own malay language.

I`m still that moron who gets teased constantly.

I`m still that freak who still ponders over you.

I`m still that dummy who is too soft-hearted.

I`m sick and tired.

I`m so over everything right now.

I`m trying so so hard to be nonchalant and focus on others things.

Yet, you`re entangled with my thoughts.

I don`t need this, especially right now.

I need to decide, yet I`m still clueless.

I don`t want a history of what I did in secondary three repeat itself.

I don`t want to be emotional or suicidal.

Cause I learnt how unpredictable life can be when one of my schoolmates passed away due to throat cancer.

I`m sick of beating myself up about what has happened between us.

I know I need to find a replacement.

But somehow, its harder now.

I have no idea why.

I`m so so sick of everything.

I just wish I could wake up and things would be normal.

I know there are no shortcuts in life and nothing is ever easy.

God, I just need a break.

from this crazy thing called reality.

I need time away from everyone.

I need to find a school, before it happens.

Its like I`m succumb to loneliness.

I must fight it.

No replacement, no more.

I don`t really need to have my heart broken a third time.

Dhaify xx

Sunday, October 19, 2008, 10:34 AM

Hey ya`ll. (:

Hope you guys had a splendid weekend.

Well, my weekends were wasted at work. No complaints though.

Friday, worked the afternoon shift.

I did things super fast cause I had to go over to Mel`s for her open house.

Got ready and apparently,

Shammie, Mint and Eunos were waiting outside.

As usual, I`m the target for their constant bullying due to my blurness and slowness.

AHAHA, thanks eh guys! LOL, :D

Waited for Nad, Naz and Syuk.

Finally, reached Mel`s place and we ate laksa!

Damn nice, and being hungry, we fought for the nuggets.

Heh. Childish, I know. :D

Watched 4bia, everyone got hooked to it but the subtitles sucked.

When it came to the 4th story, we all decided to head home.

Cause its the most scariest one of all!

Headed home with Nad, Naz Jr and Sri.

Saturday, Morning Shift.

We planned to head to Naz Jr`s house at night.

Thing was, all of us agreed to meet up at 7pm.

Meeting place was Library`s bus stop.

Me and Sri were the earliest!

Followed by Junjie after 20 minutes!

We had time to walk around and buy bubbletea while waiting for Haliejah and Nuraisha!

Haliejah came and we decided to sit under one of those "huts"

Waited for Nuraisha until abt 745pm.

We had to wait for Naz Jr cos he went somewhere! -.-

Finally reached.

Took pictures, eat and waited for Syuk to arrive.

Watch soccer in the meantime.

Walked home with Sri! Heh. :D

Sunday.

Pm Duty Supervisor.

Tested my bloody patience.

Rained heavily.

Hungry, PMS-ing.

Dejected.

Tired, Pissed.

Confused.

It doesn`t get any better than all that rolled into one. seriously.

Dhaify xx

Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 6:43 AM

Oh my God.

You`re still the same superficial bitch.

The same one I knew 6 years ago.

Screw you, seriously.

So much for even trying to be nice.

I`m fucking glad that I didn`t walk the same path.

Why would I even wanna stick being friends with hypocrites such like yourself and the others?

We used to be bestfriends.

Glad that I`m so over that phase.

Karma is a bitch,

You so fucking deserved the karma right now.

, 1:17 AM

HARI RAYA 2008 WITH HAPPY PILLS/SECONDARY SCHOOLMATES!

The clan, lesser than last year`s but equally fun. heh.

Houses, not in any particular order;

Ath

Fikri

Ain

Meutia

Danial

Munir

Sham

Natty

Huzai

Diy

Fawwaz

Fariq

Faiz

(I missed out some, i think? haha!)

Nattyyy! :D

I see them almost every weekend. haha!

Munir`s famous brother from Almari Aljaib on Suria! heh.

He`s not shy anymore!

I remember last time, he`d always hide behind Munir whenever we tried to talk to him.

Heh.

Shahrul! and his super tall songkok. Haha.

She`s the sweetest girl, ever. Haha! :D

My girls <3

This year`s Red Family; Az, Fawwaz, Dut and Jarnah.

The boys :D

Fikri`s cute little sister!

Tia and Jarnah!

Raya was indeed splendid!

I had an awesome time with them, talking crap and more.

Unfortunately, I was sick so my time with them was cut short.

But it was really worth all the headaches and blisters.

Heh, I had fun!

I loveeeee them heaps okay! :D

Oh and despite having a sucky birthday.

I would like to thank those who wished me in every way possible to mankind.

Anddddd,

Kakak & Alfian for the book by Kahlil Gibran.

And the end-of-the-month Guess necklace. :D

Natty for the super nice tshirt dress with aeroplanes motif. heeee.

Haliejah for the super super nice aeroplane models. heh!

Daddy for the Powershot camera! :D

Xoxo, kids.

Monday, October 13, 2008, 9:59 PM

HARI RAYA 2008 WITH ESCAPIANS! :D

The long stretch of cars and a van!

The drivers were; Yammy, Nazrul, Nad, Danz, Din, Haikal, Hidayah and Vishal

The motorcyclists; Shammie, Mint, Ariffin, Eunos and Shafiq.

Houses, in no particular order,

Syuk

Nazrul

Hamidon

Sri

Shafiq

Hafi

Nona

Nadiah

Irsham

Fazuan

Iskandar

Diana

Zul

Ariffin

Hairi (I skipped his place! LOL)

At Nona`s, I think?

AISHAH! hee, she came straight after work cause I forced her to! :D

Cause the people in Yam`s car also took a picture like this, so we decided to be kpo and copied it. AHAHA.

DEE! I MISS HER ALOT! :D

Tintin and Fana! I miss Tintin! :D

Thanks Nad for letting us take your car! hee, :D

Revenue, both now and then.

I like to make her melatar. HAHA.

MINT! The one who sent me home, thanks once again! :D

At Naz`s crib.

Ca-ra-mel! hee, she skipped her SP outing for this one! :D

The guys

Some of them girls

SOO MANY PHOTOGRAPHS OKAY.

I`m lazy so obviously I won`t post all of them up.

Heh, I had tons of fun with the escapians.

Really, :D

Next post will be about Happy Pills Raya Outing alrightey.

Loves

Thursday, October 30, 2008, 6:20 AM

Overdue pictures!

My bad for taking so long to upload. Hee :D

Anyway, today was spent with Natty and Wy at Starbucks JJ :D

Heee, That`s my favourite Starbucks hangout cause its peaceful and not alot of people know where it is.

You won`t get any typical malays or teens like the ones you see at Starbucks Tm.

Plus, there are super hot guys there!

And I`ll get discounts!

As usual, photobooth-ed like mad.

Heee :D

Retarded moments.

Powerpuff cacat and Girl genius. HAHAHAH!

Our favourite Starbucks where we used to spend mugging for O`s and when we`re sad. LOLS!

Natty!

Upper east side. HAHAH!

Irfan`s birthday which was on Deepavali.

I was sick and had to entertain kids. Lols.

My new niece, Nur Quraisha.

My cina cousin

The smaller one is cute cause he sang for his brother a chinese birthday song.

The nice birthday cake!

Effing cute, right?! Heeee!

Okie dokie, I had fun.

Especially at starbucks. <3

Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 7:22 AM

— Eleven minutes, Paulo Coelho

Cause we are nowhere near perfect.

Evolution of a human being does not include being a superwoman/superman.

It does not include being impeccable.

We are always taught that mistakes makes us stronger.

We are taught never to have any regrets and that every mistake is only a stepping stone towards something big that we would achieve.

They have been emphasising that we are to learn from our mistakes.

Yet, we are always chastise for the mistakes we make.

Isn`t it a downright contradiction?

"We fall down seven times and get up eight" -Paulo Coelho

Monday, October 27, 2008, 8:00 AM

Hello Folks.

Here I am again, fingers dancing furiously on the bloody keyboard.

As always, I am going to rant out every bad emotions I have in my body.

So, let me warn you that the post you are going to read is going to have a hell load of vulgarities.

I`m going to be oblivious to the fact that I`m not the only one with problems while I`m typing this post.

And also, I`m going to be downright rude and crude.

Don`t be a prat and say I didn`t warn you.

Cheers!

Yes people.

Once again, I am such a fucking loser for not being able to find a bloody school.

Someone said that it has already been nearly 6 months and yet, I`m still school-less.

I got to admit that maybe I have not searched hard enough.

Truth be told, I am fucking sick of people constantly saying that I don`t want to continue schooling.

Well, that includes my ever-so-supportive mom and relatives.

Why don`t you guys go fucking piss on each other`s faces while waiting for me to find a fucking school?

Its not as easy as it fucking looks.

Its not like I`m going to just pick any bloody course just to entertain your fucking mind and play into your psychological games.

Its my fucking life, I`ll take all the time I want.

I know that I can`t possibly take my own sweet time,

but you guys are trying to rush me into getting into a school.

Your fucking games are useless against me.

Who fucking cares if you`re my relatives,

its my bloody life and I have the right to choose.

I want to make the bloody right one.

And once my mind is all made up,

I`ll stick to it, even if it pisses you off.

I don`t fucking live to impress anyone.

(read: anyone)

It came to me then.

That I`m such a idiot.

I`ve trapped myself in this situation again.

But now, I`m going to numb myself.

I`ll continue another time,

I tire myself out already.

Friday, October 24, 2008, 1:12 AM

I need to spend an afternoon at Starbucks JJ. ):

Natty! Let`s go there soon!

Thursday, October 23, 2008, 6:26 AM

Ever fallen in love with someone

Ever fallen in love, in love with someone

Ever fallen in, in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with

-Ever fallen in love, The Stiff Dylans

Its just a random song

from a random feeling.

I took a long bus ride yesterday.

And it made me think;

How long more should I continue?

You don`t seem to care enough.

I`m done wasting my time trying to impress and fuss over you.

You don`t seem to bother at all.

Maybe I should just put things to rest.

It doesn`t help one bit that you`re always entangled in my thoughts.

I guess bottling up is a way better idea.

I don`t feel stupider that way.

Dhaify xx

Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 8:45 PM

I want to watch twilight! :D

Anyone wanna accompany me? heee.

, 6:49 AM

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

-The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

I`m at Starbucks near Wheelock right now.

Its not as peaceful as the one situated at Jalan Jamal.

But somehow, it inspires me to write again.

Call me crazy, but that is how inspiration works.

We can only do things when we`re truly inspired.

Otherwise, whatever that is written is equivalent to crap.

Today was definitely more enjoyable than yesterday.

I`ve decided already.

You don`t have to pretend.

I can see through your acts.

If I have to use every freaking fibre in my body just to forget you, I will.

Cause we know we could never be.

And I`m tired of waiting for you to come around.

Dhaify xx

Monday, October 20, 2008, 8:29 AM

I feel unusually moodless today.

I ate more than usual, which is weird.

Apparently, I finished everything that I ate.

That is incredibly weird cause I`m known for not being able to finish up my food.

Somehow, I felt unhappy today.

I don`t know why, just unhappy and bitter.

I didn`t scream at anyone,

I just didn`t have the mood to entertain jokes, teases or any other form of communication.

I only talked when necessary.

Except when it was with Nad, Kak yam and those who knows me well enough.

I feel crappy deep inside.

I`m still that loser who is school-less.

I`m still that idiot who doesn`t even know her own malay language.

I`m still that moron who gets teased constantly.

I`m still that freak who still ponders over you.

I`m still that dummy who is too soft-hearted.

I`m sick and tired.

I`m so over everything right now.

I`m trying so so hard to be nonchalant and focus on others things.

Yet, you`re entangled with my thoughts.

I don`t need this, especially right now.

I need to decide, yet I`m still clueless.

I don`t want a history of what I did in secondary three repeat itself.

I don`t want to be emotional or suicidal.

Cause I learnt how unpredictable life can be when one of my schoolmates passed away due to throat cancer.

I`m sick of beating myself up about what has happened between us.

I know I need to find a replacement.

But somehow, its harder now.

I have no idea why.

I`m so so sick of everything.

I just wish I could wake up and things would be normal.

I know there are no shortcuts in life and nothing is ever easy.

God, I just need a break.

from this crazy thing called reality.

I need time away from everyone.

I need to find a school, before it happens.

Its like I`m succumb to loneliness.

I must fight it.

No replacement, no more.

I don`t really need to have my heart broken a third time.

Dhaify xx

Sunday, October 19, 2008, 10:34 AM

Hey ya`ll. (:

Hope you guys had a splendid weekend.

Well, my weekends were wasted at work. No complaints though.

Friday, worked the afternoon shift.

I did things super fast cause I had to go over to Mel`s for her open house.

Got ready and apparently,

Shammie, Mint and Eunos were waiting outside.

As usual, I`m the target for their constant bullying due to my blurness and slowness.

AHAHA, thanks eh guys! LOL, :D

Waited for Nad, Naz and Syuk.

Finally, reached Mel`s place and we ate laksa!

Damn nice, and being hungry, we fought for the nuggets.

Heh. Childish, I know. :D

Watched 4bia, everyone got hooked to it but the subtitles sucked.

When it came to the 4th story, we all decided to head home.

Cause its the most scariest one of all!

Headed home with Nad, Naz Jr and Sri.

Saturday, Morning Shift.

We planned to head to Naz Jr`s house at night.

Thing was, all of us agreed to meet up at 7pm.

Meeting place was Library`s bus stop.

Me and Sri were the earliest!

Followed by Junjie after 20 minutes!

We had time to walk around and buy bubbletea while waiting for Haliejah and Nuraisha!

Haliejah came and we decided to sit under one of those "huts"

Waited for Nuraisha until abt 745pm.

We had to wait for Naz Jr cos he went somewhere! -.-

Finally reached.

Took pictures, eat and waited for Syuk to arrive.

Watch soccer in the meantime.

Walked home with Sri! Heh. :D

Sunday.

Pm Duty Supervisor.

Tested my bloody patience.

Rained heavily.

Hungry, PMS-ing.

Dejected.

Tired, Pissed.

Confused.

It doesn`t get any better than all that rolled into one. seriously.

Dhaify xx

Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 6:43 AM

Oh my God.

You`re still the same superficial bitch.

The same one I knew 6 years ago.

Screw you, seriously.

So much for even trying to be nice.

I`m fucking glad that I didn`t walk the same path.

Why would I even wanna stick being friends with hypocrites such like yourself and the others?

We used to be bestfriends.

Glad that I`m so over that phase.

Karma is a bitch,

You so fucking deserved the karma right now.

, 1:17 AM

HARI RAYA 2008 WITH HAPPY PILLS/SECONDARY SCHOOLMATES!

The clan, lesser than last year`s but equally fun. heh.

Houses, not in any particular order;

Ath

Fikri

Ain

Meutia

Danial

Munir

Sham

Natty

Huzai

Diy

Fawwaz

Fariq

Faiz

(I missed out some, i think? haha!)

Nattyyy! :D

I see them almost every weekend. haha!

Munir`s famous brother from Almari Aljaib on Suria! heh.

He`s not shy anymore!

I remember last time, he`d always hide behind Munir whenever we tried to talk to him.

Heh.

Shahrul! and his super tall songkok. Haha.

She`s the sweetest girl, ever. Haha! :D

My girls <3

This year`s Red Family; Az, Fawwaz, Dut and Jarnah.

The boys :D

Fikri`s cute little sister!

Tia and Jarnah!

Raya was indeed splendid!

I had an awesome time with them, talking crap and more.

Unfortunately, I was sick so my time with them was cut short.

But it was really worth all the headaches and blisters.

Heh, I had fun!

I loveeeee them heaps okay! :D

Oh and despite having a sucky birthday.

I would like to thank those who wished me in every way possible to mankind.

Anddddd,

Kakak & Alfian for the book by Kahlil Gibran.

And the end-of-the-month Guess necklace. :D

Natty for the super nice tshirt dress with aeroplanes motif. heeee.

Haliejah for the super super nice aeroplane models. heh!

Daddy for the Powershot camera! :D

Xoxo, kids.

Monday, October 13, 2008, 9:59 PM

HARI RAYA 2008 WITH ESCAPIANS! :D

The long stretch of cars and a van!

The drivers were; Yammy, Nazrul, Nad, Danz, Din, Haikal, Hidayah and Vishal

The motorcyclists; Shammie, Mint, Ariffin, Eunos and Shafiq.

Houses, in no particular order,

Syuk

Nazrul

Hamidon

Sri

Shafiq

Hafi

Nona

Nadiah

Irsham

Fazuan

Iskandar

Diana

Zul

Ariffin

Hairi (I skipped his place! LOL)

At Nona`s, I think?

AISHAH! hee, she came straight after work cause I forced her to! :D

Cause the people in Yam`s car also took a picture like this, so we decided to be kpo and copied it. AHAHA.

DEE! I MISS HER ALOT! :D

Tintin and Fana! I miss Tintin! :D

Thanks Nad for letting us take your car! hee, :D

Revenue, both now and then.

I like to make her melatar. HAHA.

MINT! The one who sent me home, thanks once again! :D

At Naz`s crib.

Ca-ra-mel! hee, she skipped her SP outing for this one! :D

The guys

Some of them girls

SOO MANY PHOTOGRAPHS OKAY.

I`m lazy so obviously I won`t post all of them up.

Heh, I had tons of fun with the escapians.

Really, :D

Next post will be about Happy Pills Raya Outing alrightey.

Loves