Dear Anonymous;


Yo! (:
I`m back on track right now.
By that i mean, I`m one heck of a happy kid! :D
I guess the details are rather you-don`t-need-to-know.
So yeaaaaaap, Yay to Happy Pills! teehees.

So let me give you guys a lil insight on what`s going on in life right now.
Besides the fact that everything is so mundane,
at least I get to go out.
HAHA, I swear I`ll go nuts if I sit at home & do practically nothing.
Okaaaaaaaay, so on Monday!
I did nothing except to get my certificate.
Things went horribly wrong that I supposed I shouldn`t be blogging it here. ^-^
Tuesday, lalala~
Headed to School again, this time round for a rugby match.
You see, my friends been complaining that I don`t meet them often so the rugby match was a perfect way to slack with them.
Ohyes, I get to meet my girls! :D
Afterwhich, I accompanied Fatin to go shop.
Ohhh, My wishlist is expanding! yeaaays, shopping on sunday! :D
Heees, Wednesday bby!
Met up with dearest Kakyam & Mel! hehs.
Walked around beach road. the sneakers are effing nice okay!
Errrr, had an unexpected hike. HAHAHAH.
More to come pretty please! (:
Met up with Eja at Funan and we surveyed Laptops. woohooo~
Acer aspireeeee or Hp?! Haaa, Choose for me please!
AND TADAAAAAAA.
okay wait, not done yet.
Today = Friday. TGIF!
Its a day away from the weekends which means WORK! :D
ohhlala, I`m happy yo!
Met up with Aliman in the morning. ZZZT!
Accompanied him to Poly, Lunched at Food culture.
Headed homeeeeee & the two darlings came!
Aaliyah Shanaz & Khairin Arman. hehs.
Damn cute can, but superduper hyperactive.
Thankgod it was only for a few hours.
Heees, Arman would go around stealing my bread and typing randomly on the keyboard.
After that he`ll say, "don`t want. don`t go batu tetangkup"
Supposedly, Batu bertangkup. That old folklore about the mom which went to to batu just because her anak ate the fish egg. Lmao! =.=
They ran & ran around the house.
& Arman's sudden high-pitched shriek.
heee, damn effing cute right?!
LOL, I want to kidnap him and bring him here.
Ohhh, he`s so mentel also. ^-^

Damn, thats a long rant.
I sound like a total bimbo. HAHAHA.
You figure that out kay? (:
Till next timeeeeeee,
Cheerios! ♥

Dear Anonymous;


Sometimes I wonder whats the use of thinking too much.
If all it does is make me unhappy and frustrated.
I had a cold shower to snap me back to reality,
it left me feeling refreshed.
I guess thats what a 3am shower plus crying-your-eyes-out would do.
I want to run till i puke, like what I usually do.
Sounds totally insane but no matter, I like physical pain better.
As in, its definitely way better than what I`m feeling right now.
Gaaaaaaah~ (x 10000000)
What sucks the most is knowing I could never do anything about it.
That I`d have to just grit my teeth and let everything else fall into place.
I`m supposed to be happy cos I`ve got great friends, a future if I do well and a job that I love.
At least, I`ve got a roof over my head & parents who still support me.
I guess, I think too much and that is never good.
Thoughts stuck in my head and it makes me wonder.
Running away from reality seems like the best option.
Surreal is definitely better.
Feeling numb is also another option.
I lost my happy pills, which explains why I`m feeling down.
I`ll keep looking for it.
& I'll be one heck of a happy kid in a matter of days.
(:


Its this kind of times whereby I`d need you the most.
You got me feeling lost & confused.

Dear Anonymous;


Knowing it was how far it got.
I never want to know what the XY is feeling. (read; never)
Once is enough. (repeat this to myself x100000)
Like the saying goes, "Once bitten, Twice shy"
Or rather, in my case; Gazillion-enth time bitten, infinity times shy.
HAHAHA, rather weird saying if you ask me.
Cos when I found out, I'd go all around it trying to seek its meaning.
Then, I get dissapointed cos its not what I'm craving for.
So, when dissapointment comes in, thts when I start thinking about you.
All along, you've been the comfy cushion whenever I fall.
You snapped me back to reality more times than anyone has ever done.
Ahhh, the sick cycle starts again.
Viciously pulling me as a victim while the mind replays & reminisces about him.
The overwhelming thought of not having him around anymore is too heavy to let go.
Alright, let me tell you readers here a secret.
Its not that I can't let go, its just that I don't want to. (read; don't want)
He is like my imaginary friend,
Someone I'd go to for comfort whenever I'm feeling low.
People would ask me "why him?"
Like an imaginary friend, I can't explain.
People would go around telling me "You think so much about him but does he think about you? He already has a girlfriend."
My response would be;
yeah, I know jolly well know that he has a girlfriend. But you wouldn't know how I feel if you're not in my shoes.
It was the most euphoric feeling being with him.
The kind of tingling feeling you get whenever you meet your loved ones.
Those butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of feeling.
As cliche as it sounds, it never gets old. reaally.
Its a feeling that you won't forget, not that you'd try to anyway.
He's the reason why I've been pulling through.
Those memories and his advices would effortlessly help me out, holding me on.
Only that those after-effects weren't so pleasant cos I'd end up missing him again.
I still remembered I went to him cos I felt so lost after my grandma's death.
I didn't know who to turn to.
He was the one who told me to study hard and not to dissapoint my grandma since it was the O'levels period.
The most crucial period of my life.
He was the one cheering me on, supporting me all the way.
I'm falling in and out of love with this guy, my imaginary friend.
Cos right now, he's not here by my side anymore.


God, this is the most longest rant ever.
To those who thinks this is an emo post (*ehem farhan!) heh.
Do yrself a favour and closing the page.
hahah, i'm so not emo.
Just in need of venting and ranting my feelings.


i feel better. (:

Dear Anonymous;


There was once this friend that I got to know during my Secondary School days.
He was very dear to me & helped me with almost everything.
He was the one who picked me up when I was down.
Helped me to pick up the pieces with everything that seemed so wrong.
He would take time to help me whenever I'm feeling troubled.
He could sense when there's something wrong with me.
Yet, I didn't appreciate him hard enough.
I took him for granted.
He was a great friend, someone I knew I could count on.
When I felt the world was crumbling, He was there to hold on to me.
And like every sucker which got tangled in my life,
He said that he would always be there for me, through it all.
But we lost contact, due to some petty reasons.
I miss him alot.
He was a really great friend.
And no, there's no strings attached with this guy.
It was a platonic friendship that I treasured when it was gone.
It was already too late when I started appreciating everything he's done for me.
Lesson here;Start appreciating what you have now. Otherwise, you'll regret once its gone.

Dear Anonymous;


Working Life is at stake.
The March holidays has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
Ups and downs; well mainly, downs.
I was welcomed at ETP 23Nov 2007.
Its been nearing 4months since I worked there.
On my last blog, I've always been blogging about work.
How the workmates would effortlessly made my day.
Until my secondary school friends couldn't see why I love to work so much, whereas they dreaded waking up & going to work.
You see, The workmates are the ones who would put a smile on my face & a loud laughter would just burst from my mouth.
We would share corny jokes & experiences that would help me through my years.
As you know, most of them are already 18 and above.
So, they'd share their experiences with me to help me overcome any future problems.
Then, there's this two senior who taught me nearly everything there is to know about being an I/C & one of the inventory people.
Faizah and Farhan were the ones who guided me along & correcting my mistakes.
Together, all of us are the happiest & harmonious family around.
Yusri was the one who persuaded me to go out with Aliman in the first place.
& from there too, I made friends with the rides crew.
They are also such good friends;
especially, Kak yam, Fatin, Shorty, Shammie, Syuk, Danz, Mint & not forgetting, Aliman.
Leaving ETP would mean leaving every fond memories behind.
Then on 13/03/2008,
I received the most saddest information.
Two of my workmates were sacked due to a sickening wretch.
The reason was beyond pathetic.
& that made tears fell like waterfall.
I treated everyone of them like my brothers & sisters.
The info was passed to me by the person herself.
Everyone couldn't have been sadder.
Just because of one person, a whole family collapsed.
I'll miss everyone dearly.
I know you guys are going to quit soon, but I'll just miss you guys a whole lot.
You bet that ETP carnival wouldn't be the same anymore.
haiz.
Damn you bitch & bastard.
May you rot in hell. sickening.
You make me wanna regurgitate what I just ate.


I'll miss the happy moments.
Eventhough its been only a few months, I'll still miss you guys heaps. ):


Lets reminisce on the happy & merry moments.
Those times before Elaine had left us. sighh~

Dear Anonymous;


I saw you and her again.
This time, I wanted to run to the nearest cubicle and cry.
But, I pretended to be strong and laughed it off.
It took every fibre in my body to pretend that my heart didn't ached.
It took every bone in my body to pretend I was okay with it.
Every part of me wished that you'd just go away.
That your existence wouldn't matter one bit.
But sadly, my wish didn't come true for the gazillion-enth time.
I wanna run away, find an escapade.
But even reading the book `Leap of love' has your name on it.
Every page would bear your name, and my heart would do a double flip.
Do you know how much Tears I've wasted just by hearing your name?
Its nearing a year, yet my heart ached just by hearing your name.
I wish I could just forget everything by snapping my fingertips.
I'm not strong, I'm not wondergirl.
I feel like bursting to tears now.
I'm so in need of a big break. I just want someone to be there for me.
I'm so sick of people saying that but ending up in empty words.
I'm tired when they're only almost there.


Its the most suckiest feeling to have nowhere to turn to. ♥

Dear Anonymous;


Life is getting tougher.
Problems being hurled at me, one after another.
Why aren't you here to help me out?
I miss you.
& I saw you again.
This time smiling.
damn, without realising, I stepped into your love scene.


PS. It hurts real bad.

Dear Anonymous;


Do you know that I've been missing you alot?
That not a single day passes without you here in my mind.
Every little thing I do reminds me of you.
I'm trying so hard to forget you.
I said that I'll be happy if you're happy. & you are now.
But I just can't bring myself to believe that you're no longer mine.
There's still stains of you in my heart, stains that I can't get rid of.
Every guy I meet, I'd compare them to you.
But there's no comparison.
To me, you'd always be perfect.
I know my friends don't get this,
but like they say; If you love someone, you can never see the wrong of any actions
I don't want to continues this state, dear mr anonymous.
I don't want to crash and burn in this sucky love life.
I watched you walked away, so why am I not the one moving on now?
I admit that I was foolishly in love, I fell way too deep.
It hurts real bad to know that you're over me.
It sucks to know that I won't hear you whispering Iloveyou to me anymore.


Xoxo, ♥

Today is the suckiest day by far.
The most horrible day ever.


A horrible, mean monster ruined a very happy family.
I disliked it alot.
This obviously sucks alot.


Now, working is no longer enjoyable.
No longer those kinky & horny jokes that we'd always crack.
No longer those funny moments.
No more laughter.
I guess ETP carnival would be solemn.


Sighhh.
Luckily I get two days off from that hell.

We're moving through a crowd;


I burst into peals of laughter after reading what Natty had to say at her LJ.
After laughing & laughing, I must say that I agree with what she said.
Geeee, the drama never fails.


She's right about the type of people existing in Singapore.
Or to be even more specific, Jyss.
We've got the `Bimbos & the sluts' , the `I'm-way-cooler-than-you-geek' , the `I-wanna-be-cool-just-like-them' , the `I'm-rich-and-you're-not' and the list just seems to be going on & on.
I mean like, please do get a life.
If you don't have a trustfund, then no, you're not rich at all.
I mean, So what if your parents get you anything you want?
Face up to reality, Every parent tries to give a child what he/she wants.
If you're rich, you'd be loaded with Gucci, Prada and all the other designer labels.
If no, then I guess you're just an average human being.
Where the `Bimbos & Sluts' are concerned,
They go around as if they are so great.
Going around gossiping and being hypocritical.
Yeah, My girlfriends and I do gossip, but we don't act nice infront of the person.
If we dont like that person, we'll show it. We ain't two-faced backstabbing hypocrites.
Don't try to pretend as if you like a person when everyone else knows you don't.
Oh and going around gossiping about other people by saying "Eh yeah, I don't like her too..."
doesn't make you likeable one bit.
I mean like, everyone is living like in Gossip Girl's. (A big ROFL)
But without the sex, drugs, money and scandals.
But hey, this is the `Bitch world' full of lies and drama,
but I think without the drama, High School would definitely be a bore.


Anyways, I'm just trying to show my view.
And back off bitches, this is my blog.
I am entitled to what I want to say or how much I wanna curse and swear.
If you think I'm pricking where it hurts, then too bad.
Its how you wanna live your life, I'm just trying to make a point.

Take time to realize;


Things are getting way out of hand.
I need a breather, or a getaway.
Whichever seems like a better option for now.
I'm loving the downpour and the cold weather.
It gives me an excuse not to go out.
I'm kinda moodless to go out nowadays.

You were the best thing that happened to me.
I'm not going to lie and say that I don't miss you.
I miss you ohso much that it hurts deep inside.
I miss everything that you do/say.
I miss hearing your voice the most.
You were always the first one I turned to when I'm feeling so messed up.
When I feel like the world is crashing down on me, you were always the first one to hear about it.
You always know what to say to make things better for me.
To put a smile on my face or to make me realise my mistakes.
I was dumb so as to not appreciate you in the first place.
My sucky attitude caused me to lose you.
Despite what everybody said that you're not worth it,
To me, you'll always be.
I know nothing is going to change, that I can't have you.
But we promised that we'll always be there for each other.
& I'm going to be there for you.
I don't care if I walk alone, as long as you're not alone.
I'll always remember your encouraging words;
Cos those words are the ones get me through each day.
Those words never fail to help me when I'm feeling so torn or lost.
Those times that you were by my side,
makes it harder to forget you.
You were my source of comfort.

The unbearable feeling of loving & losing someone,
is something I won't want to experience again.
I'll stick to my resolution.
For the better of myself and everyone else.

Throw it away, forget yesterday;


& Yes, I'm living each day with that term.
I honestly don't care what happens yesterday.
Well, unless if its a good/memorable one.

On a lighter note,
Work was better than usual.
Saturday;
C1 ic. haha, I seriously don't have a clue on what to do.
But Farhan guided me along.
It rained and yeays, not much people.LOL!
I ate lotsa chocolates. ^_^ Damn hyper lahhh,
but they don't let me be too hyper, in case I'll hyperventilate again.
I'll miss Huiting & Connie! ):
Extended till 630pm. Chilled at Starbucks for awhile.
Homed at 9pm.
Sri called saying that they're going to North Park to slack.
Met them up and headed to 7-11 to get munchies. hehs.
Met the rest under my blk. lol. Went to North Park's dome.
We were like nomads lah, eat there like as if its our house.
Sri brought along Asam Pedas from her place.
They played UNO which took super long time to game, thnks to shammie! haha!
Ate again while joking around. I love Sri's mum Asam Pedas! so nicccccccce.
Farhana & Fatin wants to rape me! LOL~
Homed at 1145pm around there. hehs.

Sunday bby.
Went to Madrasah and headed to Sri's place.
Had her mum's Asam Pedas again! ^_^
Posted at C1.
Nothing much happened.
Just that everyone was kinky. ROFL,
FMI, go to http://limjunjie.wordpress.com/
two words; Mature Content!
Went to Alfresco and was kinda dissapointed.
Kak Yam sent us back. woolala~
Took stuffs from Sri and walked around the park. Hehs.
Homeeeeeeeeeeed!


Hehs. That is why I love to work.
Cos I love the colleagues & they make work a whole lot fun! :D