Dear God,
I know some things are entirely beyond our control.
To put it bluntly, shit happens most of the time.
I thought that pretending that it never existed would make it go away.
But obviously, I am gravely mistaken.
I don`t know how to express my feelings so I thought that maybe bottling everything up would be good.
Maybe that is why I am so vulnerable deep down.
I don`t know myself anymore.
I don`t recognise the person looking right back at me in the mirror.
I don`t know the person typing this things down, either.
I feel like I`m losing myself nowadays.
I don`t know what I want or where do I want to go.
I feel so pretentious these days.
That I`m putting on a mask to hide behind whenever I`m out with my friends.
Maybe that is my fault,
for not being able to express everything that I`m feeling.
I am being someone I never thought I`d become.
Someone who is too emotionally wounded and too guarded to share things, even with her closest mates.
My thoughts are all over the place.
I`ve been having sleepless nights, waking up wee hours in the morning.
God, please show me what life is all about.
`Cause for some reason, I feel so lonely despite the loud and big bunch of friends who are wonderful.
I miss grandma and *inserts name here*
