I`m not trying to be unreasonable.
I`m not trying to say that you really have to go along with us.
You`re already old enough to decide.
Of course we are disappointed, its Hari Raya for god`s sake!
Its the time whereby we meet up and go to houses, for old time`s sake.
I don`t know, seriously.
All up to you.
I make it sound as if my life sucks.
Well, it does.
But I know my sufferings is probably superficial as compared to those in the third world countries.
I know, my life is like a walk in the park when compared with them.
I know how pampered and spoilt I am.
I know many always give in to me, like always.
I know how people have always tolerated my impatient attitude.
I am truly sorry for what I have to say now.
I really need to rant out everything otherwise it`ll be stuck to me forever.
First, My bestfriend doesn`t want to talk to me for god-only-knows-what reasons.
Second, The guy who said he wants to be my close friend asked me to forget him and then, he keeps confusing me every now and then.
Third, I haven`t found a bloody course that is stupid enough to accept me.
Fourth, I think I disappointed way too many people.
Fifth, I`m a bloody ignorant person who is being hit by karma.
What kind of a bestfriend doesn`t talk to you?
Like bloody hell, can`t you even spare me two minutes for a fucking message?
Your bloody hands too screwed up for texting is it?
It only costs abt 50cents tops for a bloody text message.
You are getting on my fucking nerves.
I bet you won`t even wish me, cause you only wished me "Selamat Hari Raya" when I fucking texted you.
I know I sound fucking brat-ish right now.
But who fucking cares?
Get your bestfriend to fucking treat you that way first before telling me off.
You, on the other hand, is driving me insane.
What more do you want?
I fallen in love with you, fine.
But that doesn`t mean I want to forget you just cause it didn`t work out between us.
Do you think I`m that childish?
Honestly, you are super fickle-minded that sometimes I don`t get you one bit.
Okay, part of it is my fault.
Our relationship was never easy but whoever said I want to forget you.
How would I know you liked me?
You didn`t tell me and you knew that I am not the kind who took hints.
All I want right now is just us being friends, being normal.
Just close friends, that`s all.
Cause I don`t wanna lose someone as close to me as you.
Can we please just have one more talk to bury things?
Can we just not leave each other hanging anymore?
All I want is closure.
I can`t believe how many months I`ve wasted by not looking for a school.
I SHOULD BE FUCKING SERIOUS NOW.
I`m wasting my life, fuck.
Ya, I disappointed many hearts.
My parents, aunts, uncles and my late grandma.
I`m sorry nenek.
I`ve disappointed you.
I didn`t study as hard as I should.
I gave up too easily.
I know you didn`t give up on your business when Life got tough.
I`m sorry that I`m such a failure.
I used up your money for studies yet I gave up only after two months.
I`m sorry.
for everything.
for not even visiting your grave when I was free.
I miss you, nenek.
I`ve disappointed everyone, I know.
Karma.
I`m done with fate.
I`m done with hope.
I`m done with affairs of the heart.
I honestly can`t be bothered.
That was the first and the last.
No more of this fucking nonsense.
I`m so sick of taking in all these crap.
Its closed now.
I`m done.
I know my post is fucking wordy.
Like I fucking care who reads it.
I knew this month ain`t gonna be any different.
Goodnight, world.
