Everytime someone comes close to the heart,
I`ll try to build a wall around myself.
Its not that I`m afraid of rejection.
I`m just afraid of the hurt that comes along with it.
I don`t see the point of getting myself hurt twice.
I`m just not ready to face it.
Maybe I`m not at all ready cos I`m not over it.
"I cannot read her. I just don`t know what she wants"
Yeah, I know why I have issues with guys.
Its not because I`m jinxed or what,
its just that I`m afraid.
I`m scared to give myself away again.
I don`t even know what I want,
I know some of you probably don`t understand.
But its okay.
I don`t understand myself most of the time.
I`m just typing what I`m feeling right now, so pardon me.
I wish I knew what I want.
I wish there are directions to what I`m supposed to do.
I`m stuck in history, cos I can`t get over it.
I`m being unhappy all the time, and I don`t know why.
I`m scared all the time,
cos I don`t wish to commit the same mistakes over and over again.
I`m quarrelsome and secretive cos I don`t wish to let people know my weakness.
I`m tired and sick of hearing the same things over and over again.
I`m alot of things, but being happy is not one of them.
sadly.
